Are you really there?
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If you grew up as a Latter-day Saint, you almost certainly sang A Child’s Prayer.
The opening line of that song has only grown more relevant for me as I have gotten older. Forget calling it a child’s prayer, I’m turning 33 in about two weeks and I am still asking, “Heavenly Father, are you really there? And do you hear and answer every child’s prayer?”
Because increasingly so many people say that heaven is so far away, in fact they say that heaven and you don’t exist at all!
Was Korihor right? is all that I believe the result of a frenzied mind? My wrestle isn’t with history and doctrine, my wrestle is with coming to know that God exists at all. Inside of me I feel like I instinctively know I have heavenly parents. And I exert myself to believe. It is a choice!
We have to believe something. Even atheism is a belief. When I look into the vast night sky and realize that I can see only the tiniest proportion of it with my naked eye, it is ludicrous to say unequivocally that there is no God.
So I am as the man with the disabled son, yea Lord I believe, but please, I am begging you to help thou mine unbelief! Because right now, in a world of noise, commotion and technological advancements, it seems increasingly difficult to see, hear and believe you.
Please don’t interpret too deeply these thoughts, no one need suppose I am in great need of rescue, at least not any more than the next disciple who is wrestling with hard questions.
But perhaps this is what happens when you leave the easy platitudes behind and actually start the arduous ascent toward light, truth and God. I am no longer satisfied with a second hand Jesus. But I don’t know sometimes if I have it in me to reach the summit to know him for myself. Perhaps I should learn to be content with being a believer and not a knower. Christ taught about the importance of belief many times.
But then Christ also said that to know him and his father was life eternal!
I am not asking for a burning bush or sacred grove. But to be honest, I have wondered how God could possibly reveal himself to me anyway. In a world of deceit and deception I have grown cynical and skeptical of just about everything I see or hear.
Couple this with the ongoing mental and emotional struggles that sometimes rage but are always ebbing and flowing and you’ll see that hearing God is harder than just muttering or even saying a few simple prayers before turning out the lights.
Perhaps I just think too much and worry about the wrong things. I hope this doesn’t spur any uneasiness in your faith. But I know that I am not alone in asking, Heavenly Father are you really there? And do you hear me?
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