Even when I don't feel like it.
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Feelings are fickle. They are a poor driver for making choices. If we only did things when we ‘felt’ like it, we would never achieve much of great value. And frankly, in some areas of my life have not achieved anything particularly great.
If you read my work often enough, you’ll know that the topic of health comes up fairly frequently. My wrestles with weight and wellness are similar to large portions of the population, so I trust I am in good company as I talk openly about my desires and struggles for losing weight and living a healthier lifestyle.
Since New Year’s Day I have managed to shed eleven pounds. If I can dispose of my excess weight at a rate of just 5.2-pounds each month, I will achieve my goal of weighing 160 by New Year’s Eve this year.
Eleven pounds sounds pretty good, but when I look in the mirror I don’t see much evidence of change. This doesn’t lead to feelings of motivation, it can be a little disheartening to be putting in consistent effort and have the only tangible evidence of progress be on a small digital screen on the weighing scales.
Today was the eightieth consecutive day in which I have run at least one mile. Day thirteen that I have been adding at least ten push-ups to my daily routine, and 30-days since I have been eating a more whole food, plant-based diet.
I had to remind myself again today that I need to stick with the program. I had an annual physical on Monday and my doctor reminded me again that the key to living a healthier life and avoiding many of the diseases and cancers is to eat healthy and exercise.
There is no secret, no magic pill or fast track. Just good old fashioned principles we’ve known for centuries. But boy can it be hard to keep doing the small things consistently. I know that what I am doing every day will eventually lead me to where I want to go, but this doesn’t make showing up every day any easier.
Some days my vision is cloudy, my emotions flare up and old habits of eating for coping and pleasure attempt to undo my resolve and progress. This is what I mean that feelings are fickle and should not be used as our guide for making decisions.
If I used my feelings to decide whether or not I should run every day, I wouldn’t have hit day 80 this morning. Because running is hard, it’s even harder in the freezing cold or rain. I don’t feel like running when I feel hurt or upset, in fact I feel like eating my emotions instead… a very unhealthy routine I know.
Eating fruit instead of candy is hard. Drinking water when I used to drink Dr. Pepper isn’t easy. I don’t always feel like drinking water, but I have been.
All this is to say that I am trying very hard to keep showing up, and continue doing what I know is the right thing, even when it is hard and I don’t feel like doing it. I really hope that this year is ‘the year’. I keep telling myself, even out loud sometimes, that this is the year of 160! And I believe if I consistently show up tomorrow and every day thereafter, eventually I will arrive at my goal.
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