Marriages need silent nights too.
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I love the Christmas hymn Silent Night. I have sung that song more than perhaps any other as I have used it to lullaby our five children to sleep. But Christmas and bedtimes are not on my mind today. I wanted to share a thought on the need to be silent in our marriages.
Anyone who has ever been married knows that in a relationship their are peaks and troughs, highs and lows, periods of tranquility and moments or turbulence. Each individual in a marriage will experience emotional, spiritual, mental and physical challenges and triumphs.
Everyone in marriage will make mistakes, say the wrong thing, get the timing wrong, lose their composure, struggle, stumble and fall, I know of no exceptions.
We will all feel frustrated, disappointed, angry, annoyed, irritated or saddened because of something our spouse says or does, or does not say or do.
Most people already know they are struggling, make mistakes, or get things wrong. And lots of us have a big enough stick of our own to beat ourselves with without the help of anyone else.
There is something in too many of us that fails to stay silent when we see our spouse fumbling, struggling and failing. We may make sarcastic remarks, deliver critique or criticism, or offer unhelpful insights.
Worst of all we go on the attack. Sometimes we can be merciless with our words, saying things we know will cause harm. We may even feel justified in our crusade against a spouse who just needs to be taught a lesson or see clearly. But in doing so we are always wrong.
The new commandment was that we were to love one another. Sometimes the greatest act of love we can demonstrate is to remain silent in our marriage when everything inside us wants to keep talking or to keep fighting. But sometimes, often when we are angry, words will only make things worse.
Perhaps if we had more silent nights in our marriages, we would also have more holy nights and all would be calm and bright in our homes too.
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