My marriage is not as vibrant as it could be.
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I don’t believe any of us sat in school as a child and planned to be unsuccessful. Nor do I believe that the vast majority of us woke up today hoping to fail or feel unfulfilled in our lives. Very few, if any, adopt a deliberate strategy of failure.
But conversely, too few of us adopt a strategy of success. And lives, like water, will always take the course of least resistance unless great effort is exerted to alter the natural order. It isn’t enough to only plan not to fail. Without a clear vision and great effort, our lives will almost always take the course of least resistance, going wherever the flow is taking us, taking the easiest route through life.
In many ways I have adopted this approach of least resistance much of my life. I don’t believe my life to be a disaster or failure by any means, but I openly acknowledge that I, nor my life and accomplishments are what they could and perhaps ought to be. I have definitely lived large portions of my life below my potential.
Obesity, in my experience, has been the product of taking the path of least resistance. Sitting and eating too much of all the wrong things has required little to no effort on my part.
My marriage is not as vibrant as it could be. We still struggle a lot more than we probably should after 10-years. Relationships are hard, which truth I think is reflected in the divorce data. I don’t plan on adding to those statistics but maybe I just might if I allow myself to drift down the river of ease.
I could go into other areas of my life, but perhaps these two examples will suffice for today.
When I was younger, I didn’t think to myself, not once, that when I grew up I wanted to be overweight, out of shape, and have a marriage that struggles more than it should. This was not my strategy then, and it never has been since. But here I am at almost 33-years old with both of these things.
Everyone could chime in on the comments with advice on how I change these two areas of my life, but I don’t need more knowledge. I know how to be healthy in my body and marriage. My problem has rarely been a lack of knowledge.
My problem is failing to consistently apply what I already know. Knowing that fruits and vegetables are important to eat in larger volumes doesn’t make me healthy, actually eating them does, and not just eating them once, but every day!
I know that praying as a couple, regular dates, engaged conversations, and physical intimacy are important elements of fostering a healthy marriage. My problem is that I am not consistent in any of these and so many other elements of marriage.
The outcomes in my life upon introspection have proved proportionate to the consistency at which I have done and applied what I already know.
There are no secrets or shortcuts to happy marriages, healthy bodies, strong families, successful careers, or building wealth.
As I have sat and reflected upon my life and my observations of others, I am increasingly coming to the conclusion that the reason I and others fail to reach our potential, and feel satisfied and fulfilled by our accomplishments is because we are inconsistent.
We show up every so often with bursts of energy and effort that dwindle and disappear until the next time we feel motivated. We show up for a few weeks, even months, but then we quit, usually because we don’t see immediate results.
Showing up and doing the small and simple things consistently is not a guarantee of success, but not showing up consistently, or at all, is a guarantee for failure and underachievement. Consistency requires pain, belief, and work, but I believe it is the pathway that leads us from goal to accomplishment, no matter what the goal may be.
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