Pancakes and letting go of perfection.
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Sunday morning I woke up and started to make pancakes for breakfast. Our children love pancakes and had been asking for me to make them for several days. I wasn’t in the kitchen long before the first child appeared by my side.
“Can I help make pancakes?”
I pause, take a breath and look at my 4-year-old daughter before answering.
I know that if I say yes, what was going to be a fairly quick and clean process will become a much slower and almost certainly messier one. It’s a dilemma in my mind. On the one hand I desire for my children to help, learn skills and become self-reliant.
But on the other hand, I like being in control because I like doing things the way I do them, which is efficient, organized and clean.
I’ll be completely honest in saying that I too often say no to requests to help with things like making pancakes. I realize that this is often the wrong approach. I know that I should be saying yes when my children ask if they can help.
If I always say no when they want to help, they will likely say no when I need them to help.
So I decided to say yes to my daughter. She had a great time measuring out the ingredients and then mixing it with our handheld electric whisk.
As the pan was starting to heat up on the hob, our 7-year-old daughter emerged.
“Can I help flip the pancakes?”
Again I pause. I know she is old enough, and I have seen her successfully flip a pancake in the past… I’ve also seen her make a mess too.
“Yes” I reply as she excitedly picks up the spatula.
Between the two of them, the younger pouring the batter into the pan and the older flipping, we made very little mess, much to my surprise, and the pancakes were delicious.
Sunday morning was a success. Not only because the pancakes turned out well, but because I was willing to let go of my need and desire for control and perfection. Sometimes I get so rigid in how things “should” be done, that I refuse or deny others, including my children to grow and develop through helping and serving me.
One of the biggest complaints about God or arguments for their lack of existence is that suffering and negative things happen to us in life.
Most people wouldn’t be slow to condemn my parenting style if I were to never give my children opportunities to learn, grow and explore for themselves. I’d be called a control freak, a helicopter parent, perhaps even abusive.
Growth requires opportunities to learn, which inevitably will cause some mess, pain, and suffering. Life, of course, is a little more complicated than making pancakes on a Sunday morning, but similar to the hopes I have for my children, I believe our heavenly parents don’t just want us to eat delicious pancakes, they want us to learn how to make them for ourselves.
If we were all completely honest, nobody would want a God who controlled every outcome in their lives. How incredibly dull and mundane life would be. We are all like my 4 and 7-year-old daughters who eagerly wanted to help and learn, and who would have been greatly disappointed had I said no.
Although it is painful and messy sometimes, we ought to be more grateful for a God who allows us to help him make pancakes for breakfast on a Sunday morning.
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