Why am I hauling these things around?

Of all the things I dislike most in life, moving homes is near the top of my list.

We have moved six times in ten years and by coincidence, Cassandra has been pregnant or very early postpartum during just about every one of those moves leaving me to do most of the packing and hauling.

Just before our most recent move from Utah to West Virginia an old friend of Cassandra’s was also moving and somehow we acquired several boxes of books from her.

As I put them on the shelves in our master closet I said “we’re never going to read half of these books so we should just get rid of them.”

Well I never did get rid of them and a few short weeks later I was loading them all back into our own boxes ready to move.

Books are heavy and I had to haul them several times between our homes, storage unit, and moving truck, a task which left my back feeling unhappy.

A few weeks after arriving at our new home, I set up our bookshelves and unloaded all those books onto them.

As I stood there and surveyed the titles, covers and read some of the blurbs, my suspicions that no one, especially me, would ever read them were confirmed.

So I wasted no time in grabbing a box and immediately started tossing books into it. I didn’t count but I must have removed at least fifty books. Have you ever tried lifting a box with fifty books in? It’s very heavy!

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As I reflect on this experience, I wonder why I hadn’t just taken the time to sort through the books in Utah and save myself a great deal of heavy lifting and moving.

Rather than discard the ones I knew were not useful to me, I carried and hauled them over a thousand miles across the country, which is ludicrous when I think about it.

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But this experience with the books has sparked thoughts about my life in other ways. I’ve been asking myself, what other unnecessary things am I continuing to haul around? What should I have gotten rid of a long time ago but haven’t?

I’m referring here to things far more significant and impacting than books.

From England to Idaho, Utah to West Virginia, I’ve been carrying things I should have let go of a long time ago.

Am I a hoarder unwilling or unable to throw anything away? Damn it Matthew! Just throw it away!

But I’ve cleaned out a hoarders house several years ago and it’s not as simple as throwing everything away! In the end much does go, but a great deal of sifting, organizing, and cleaning must be done first. Because amid all the junk and clutter there really are things that should be kept.

So I can’t just torch my life and move on. Instead I must venture into the cluttered rooms of my life and commence the arduous task of finding, organizing and discarding.

When I start to seriously introspect I see a great many experiences, ideas, beliefs, ideologies, thoughts, emotions, feelings, and concepts, some that should stay but many which must go!

But unlike a physical home that can be left behind with all its clutter, the internal clutter of my life comes with me wherever I go. Until I take care of it, I will be hauling it everywhere, every time. There’s no escaping so the only other option is facing and tackling.

This is part of my journey toward greater wellness in my life. I’ve allowed a lot of clutter to collect in my mind and spirit over the past thirty-two years. And it’s time to undo and remedy some of it.

Cleaning and organizing won’t be easy or enjoyable, and maybe I’ll find things that aren’t pretty, like the dog poo I found on the basement carpet when I cleaned that hoarders house!

But there’s nothing more peaceful and enjoyable to me than coming home to a clean, organized home and generally we maintain one.

Now it’s time to do the same for my mind, spirit and body.

All the best,

Let’s start a conversation

Why do you think we have a hard time letting go of things in our lives? Even when we know they don’t help us.

P.S. Just so you know

What I’m sharing are my own opinions, thoughts and experiences. What has worked or is true for me may not be so for you. All advice or opinion, even from ‘experts’, should be taken with a pinch of salt because there really is no substitute for the difficult challenge of thinking and discovering truth and our own answers. One size never fits all and there are no silver bullets. So take what resonates and works for you and disregard the rest. But please join me in continued reading, listening, discovering, and above all, thinking for ourselves.